By Charles Jackard, EdD
Love is patient and kind; is not jealous, or conceited, or proud, love is not ill mannered or selfish, or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Corinthians 1:13
To love and be loved is a basic human need. Love encompasses our need to be seen, heard, touched, recognized, and appreciated.
Some behaviorists suggest that we each have an in-born need for love, togetherness, and human interaction. An experiment once divided two groups of infants. Group I received good nutrition and vitamins, but no personal love. Group 2 received the same food and supplements, plus human love and nurturing. Group 2 grew faster emotionally and physically. The most startling conclusion from the study was that Group 1 actually was on the verge of death before changes were made on love and nurturing.
The need for love and nurturing does not go away and, if fact, probably increases with adolescent and adulthood. A familiar saying is that three major ingredients lead to happiness: something meaningful to do, something meaningful to look forward to, and someone to love.
It is never to late to give or accept love. Genuine care and concern for other human beings or what is commonly called brotherly love can begin instantly, now. Your approval and unconditional love means a great deal to a person of any age.
Love is energy. Love is a creative, self-perpetuating healthy force. Now is the time to focus on our love energy needs. We need to produce love in abundance so, like other forms of energy, we can store it, yet use it continually and let it flow spontaneously. Love begets love.
Think of love as a piece of life’s puzzle. Have you noticed how jigsaw puzzle fans dump all the pieces on a table, turn them all right side up, and then slowly fit them together? Methodically, the puzzle takes shape until the last piece is in place. If a piece turns up missing, the picture is out of balance.
Life consists of a daily process of fitting the pieces of a puzzle together. If love is missing, the picture will never be completed.
The tender loving and care constitution
- People have a fundamental right to be loved. Things are to be used; people are to be loved.
- The ways to love are many. Love can be a smile, a wink, a compliment, praise, simply talking and listening to people, sharing in activities, having fun, being fun, seeking the positive, and teaching people how to make their own sunshine.
- Love is unconditional. I love you because you’re you. Let people know you love them no matter what. Love is one of the most important gifts you can give. Provide unconditional love so when problems arise, a person can turn to you instead of drugs, crime, or suicide.
- Discipline is love. Always compliment before criticizing. Set standards. Boundaries provide security. Be firm yet positive. If God would have wanted us to be permissive, he would have given 10 suggestions rather than 10 commandments.
- Have faith in yourself, fellow humans, and God. Faith gives purpose to life.
Leawood resident Charles Jackard is an education expert and the former principal of Horizons Academy in northeast Johnson County. You can read more of his work on his website here.
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