Here’s the scene: Gloria Rudd takes the stage at the Kauffman Center Tuesday night to introduce Amy Poehler, the featured speaker it the first CHAT Series event. She tells the crowd that instead of having Poehler just talk by herself on stage, they’ve decided to use a moderator format. At which point her son, Johnson County native and star of stage and screen Paul Rudd comes out. The crowd is elated!
And then Rudd and Poehler start, you know, chatting (as you would expect), and they get into Rudd’s background in the area. Rudd mentions that he went to SM West, and their mascot was the Vikings. He said he was talking to his dad once about their rivals at SM East. His dad asked him what the SM East mascot was.
“The Lancers,” Rudd replied.
“The Lancers!” Rudd recalled his father saying. “Vikings are better. Because what do Lancers do? They lance boils.”
And then, in public, before an auditorium full of people, he said this (and I’ll emphasize that it is a direct quote): “So suck on that, Lancers.”
My heart weeps. I’m going to dig up my DVD copy of The 40 Year Old Virgin and head directly to Half Price Books, where I’m prepared to accept as low as $2 for it.